story of alecs

“I’m here at National Bookstore, how many pupils you have?”
The message was sent to my cousin’s mobile number. He thought it was from one of my co-teacher, He got mad, as if wanting me bleeding to death. He accused me of using his phone without asking for his permission. So I asked him to give me the number, thinking that I might know the texter ( I am guilty deep inside, I really use my cousin’s phone without permission, hehehe).

So I replied the texter using my own number, I asked “who you?”

She replied, “I’m Cassandra, do I know you?”

I don’t have a Cassandra friend in my life, so I made no reply.

I told my cousin, I don’t know the texter.
He won’t believe me. I just left him with that thought. (Bahala ka!)

But this texter is so makulit, kept sending me friendship quotes up to 12 midnight. I told her to stop texting because I am not comfortable texting a girl.

For my own reason, texting a girl like me is just a waste of time. What can you get out of it? You’ll talk about guys with a complete stranger, where in fact, you can do that with friends. It is either you advise her or she will be your adviser. And I don’t like that. I have my own way of thinking.

She told me, “I just want a friend and it will do no harm, I guess”.
Until the next day, the minute I woke up, my inbox was so full, as in “memory full”, when I checked, it was all from her. That was really annoying, isn’t it?.

One day, I had no work, no friends in sight, and all alone at home. My cell phone keeps on beeping. It’s her, “Cassandra”, who kept on texting me her valuable quotes even if she never received a single "thanks".

I decided to reply, “how are you? Alam mo ang kulit mo talaga”

That was the start of our texting.

During our “text conversation”, I have noticed that we have so much in common, but having “so much in common” that time is I think not right.

It made me think that she was just fooling around, why? I told her I am a teacher, managing my aunt’s preschool, and having only my cousin at home.
Then she told me, “Same here, I am a teacher too. Managing my own preschool. And all alone at home”. (Hello! Niloloko naman yata ako nito ah? gaya-gaya!)

I dialed her number. Busy!

Then I received a phone call, it was her! I answered, “hello, ginagaya mo naman ako eh. Lahat na lang ng sinabi ko, ginaya mo..” she said, “That’s why I’m calling you now, why pareho?”

I said, “eh true naman sinasabi ko talaga”, she answered, “same with me!” Then we both laughed.

That was really funny. For the first time, I enjoyed texting with her.

We shared stories about our work, our family, and anything and everything under the sun. I realized she was sensible, a girl with so much in mind.

We spent the whole summer (2001) by just swapping text jokes, and quotes. If a joke made her laugh, she will reply me with “hey, you made me laugh again, how are you”.
Sometimes, she got no reply at all….

JUNE 2001

Then came June 2001, at around 6:00 in the evening, I am washing the dishes, my cousin came to me, “Oi, niloloko ka lang ng textmate mo “ (I know she was referring to “Cassandra), I said, “why naman?” He answered me, “Eh hindi naman Cassandra name nya eh, Alecs, Tinext ko sya, hindi pala nya nasave number ko, ayun sabi nya Alecs sya”.

The minute I am finished with my chore, I got my phone, full hearted, so angry with the one I already considered a friend. I sent a message to her, “haay, I thought you’re true, I shared with you everything about me, I considered you a friend na, I haven’t lied. I don’t know you now. Alecs or Cassandra, whatever. Thanks for the time, anyway.”

She replied, “I’m so sorry, I thought I’ve already told you my real name. I’m so sorry, I am so true with everything too, It’s just my name, the rest is true, don’t get mad please”

I said to myself, bahala ka.

From then on, my phone kept on “beeping” again, just like the first texting.

All from her.

Apologizing.

Being sorry for what “she have done”.

She tried to call. But I rejected it.

She kept on trying.
She kept on texting.
Still no reply from me.

It was already past 11:00 in the evening.

The text messages were continuously arriving, I told myself, “ang kulit naman talaga, ano ba to”

But there’s one message that caught me.

It says, “Please reply, It’s just my name, but the rest is all true. I never lied. Please remain as my friend. You’re my friend, you’re friendship is important to me, you made my everyday worth living. Please reply. I am crying now.”

To cry is a funny thing.

It made me laughed. But at the back of my mind, I thought, this girl is so amazing. We’re just text mates.. I never imagined the impact it made to her.

It strikes me right to the heart. I know I am not that to her. For me, losing a text mate who lied makes no sense at all. It would be easy for me to lose someone like her. And also, for me, friendship over text is impossible to maintain, especially if the text mate is with the same sex, somehow, somewhere you’ll forget each other, then after, another text mate will come.

For me, she is just an ordinary texter.

I was touched by the message, I replied, “Ok Ms. Alecs, forgiven, I am drowning to your touchy words, just be sure, all stories you have told me all are true, ok!?”

Then my phone rang, its Alecs, she said, “Thank you! I promised, it’s just the name, I’m Alecs.. not Cassandra hehehe… Siguro naman pag may nagtx sayo na di mo kilala, you’ll do the same, di ba?”

I said to myself, (Oo nga naman, Gawain ko din yun ah) “Sige na nga, hmp”. She laughed.

I ended the call.

A text came, “Sorry again, I thought I told you already, nawala na sa mind ko… We talked about so much, I forgot to tell you, again sorry”

“It’s ok, hehehe…madrama ka.. anyway sorry if I hurt you too..siguro lang I trusted you that easy, then all of a sudden ganun”

“Hehe… sorry”
“Ok na nga, antok ka na ba”

“Nah”

“Alecs its almost 1am, I am kinda sleepy na, how about you? Don’t’ worry, we’re still friends hehehe.”

Alecs replied, “Yeah, it’s time to sleep na, again, thanks for your understanding. Friends keep me going.”

I replied, “Ha?”

She said, “Hahaha, let’s go to sleep na, zzz…zzzz…zzz…”

From that moment on, Alecs and I became really close. We both felt the instant friendship that exists between us. Ordinary friends fight over something, then after a day or two, they are friends again. Same with what just happened, I got angry, and she was sorry. Then we’re friends again. No difference, I thought.

That time, Alecs was 28 and I was 23. We became part of our everyday living. On free time, when I am watching tv, I will text her, “hey, turn the tv on, the guests were so funny”, then she’ll do it. It’s like we’re two friends watching tv together, in a different location.

We discussed things and share our opinions over something. We talked about our students. About our crushes. About our first love. I told her that I am dating two guys at a time; she told me I’m bad but then she said she wanted to try it. We both laughed.

Going back in high school, I can say that I am the average one. Although I am surrounded with friends, making conversation is not my expertise. I made a lot of smiles but not a single serious talk. I wanted to express myself like everyone else does, but it seems so difficult for me.

When texting has been invented, and when I had my very first cell phone, I was so happy. I know I can say much with texting, than by talking. And that, making friends thru text seemed an open door to me, to express myself with others.

Based on our texting, I can tell that Alecs is smart and intelligent. She has a fine choice of words that I sometimes look for a dictionary (hehe). But she gave me the compliment of me being bright and smart.

I said to her, “just like you, you’re my teacher, there are times thatI need to look at the dictionary” She told me, “Di naman ano, ako nga dyan may mali eh. You know why you’re my favorite? I learn from you. Yung government employee (one of Alecs’ texmates) tanong sakin “Are you going at Quiapo Church?” sabi pa, “Pa-enroll daw graduate class(room)”

“Hehehehe”

One day, Alecs asked for my address. I refused to tell her. I gave her the alibi that my place is hard to find (hehe, unbelievable!)

And maybe she knows that, she said, “You just don’t wanna see me”

I replied, “hehehe”

Days before classes starts became so busy. I have to prepare the school. I became so busy attending for late enrollees and so Alecs to her school.

Our texts remain the same, updating each other with what happened to our every day.

On June 16, 2001 (Saturday), Alecs told me that she, together with Jim and other close friends was on their way to Baguio City. It was 5:00 in the morning. I told her why she hadn’t told me, because I wanted to go there too.

She said, “I asked for your address because I wanted to surprise you, the plan is to fetch you wherever you are, but you didn’t tell me, so who’s fault is that?” I said, “Ok then. Just enjoy hehehe”.

I cooked for lunch that day. She told me she was a good cook, and that Jim and her friends always requesting her to cook for them. I told her, I wished I could go and dine them with them too.

For that day, Alecs made it to the point that I am updated to everything, she always inform me of the scenery way up to Baguio, their location, the food they ate for lunch, etc.

It is as if, to make up, she wanted me to feel that she wants me around wherever she goes.

I told her, “Alecs, your friends will get mad at me, you’re with them and yet you’re “kitikitext”, and as much I am enjoying texting you, my fried chicken is now toasted, as in hehehe. Maya naman tayo text, ok? Kakabagan na tayo sa katatawa”

And she replied me, with this, “me too.. he he he, ang sarap ka katext tlaga what if one day wala na pala ako (16 June 2001, 11:59:25)

I said, “why? Saan ka naman punta?”

She replied, “wala, joke lang”

That evening of June 16, 2001, I received no text message from her. I told myself, she’s enjoying, and now time for me to sleep early. I texted her “Goodnight” then I went to sleep.

June 17, 2001, Sunday

I woke up with no text. It seemed unusual for me. But then again told myself, she maybe enjoyed the night, so she’ll probably wake up late.

June 18, 2001. Monday.

Morning.

Still no text.

I sent a message.

Still no reply.

I have no one else to ask, I knew Jim. He was her cousin. But how about his number? I knew Kaye, she was Alecs’ friend. But, I don’t have her number either.

Where on earth is Alecs? What happened over the weekend in Baguio…

Evening. At around 9:00.

I finally received a message, “Hi, it’s me Jim, please pray for Alecs… She’s in ICU now… “

I replied,”what happened to her, why in ICU?”

“She’s super anemic… she needs a miracle now...”

“What do you mean super anemic, there is no such thing as “super anemic”’

“What’s your location, what hospital? Will you please tell me what’s going on?”
“Laine, I promised Alecs not to tell you… but I guess you need to know what is going on.. Alecs is suffering from leukemia, what she needs now is your prayers, and a miracle.”

“Leukemia?!”

Silence.

Yes.. Last Saturday evening, we went on a gimik, she was dancing all night, and then that was it.. hinimatay sya... we rushed her to the hospital… now she’s in ICU… we don’t know what’s going to happen… please pray for her…”

“Of course I will… but still.. I am shocked.. I don’t know.. and I don’t know what to do now.. She didn’t tell me..”

“Alecs told us so much about you “

Silence.

“can I visit her?”

“I guess no.. but I’m gonna update you about her situation, I promised..”

“Promise?”

“Yeah”

“Ok thanks… please tell her “get well soon”…”

“I will, don’t worry.”

So what I’m gonna do now.. I went to my cousin’s room.. I told him about Alecs because I know they were texting too.

“Nasa hospital si Alecs..”

“Ha? Bakit daw?”

“May Leukemia daw…”
“Ano ba yan, hahanap ka lang ng textmate may sakit pa”
“Bakit texmate mo rin naman sya..”

I left him.
Things get hard for me to understand…

After the bad news, I sent messages to Alecs. Even though I knew, she might not be able to reply.. I send her encouraging quotes about life. About how nice she is, about how to fight for life, and how to deal with life’s circumstances.

It was all Jim who replied:

“Your quotes are very nice, when Alecs is awake, I am reading it all to her.. It makes her smile. Thank you for always being there for her..”

“Your texts is good, it will encourage her to go on, but she’s still not able to text you, bawal pa..”

“Hey, Alecs is awake, hi daw…”

I feel so frustrated, I can’t visit Alecs, because Jim is not telling me where she was confined, my cousin is also texting her, asking if what hospital. But Jim doesn’t tell us, according to him, it was Alecs’ decision.

“Laine, I can talk to Alecs na, she’s getting better..”

“Can I call?”

“Sure, but please no emotional words ok?”

“Call now”

As I dialed the number, my hands were shaking.. What I’m gonna say to her.. The illness is not part of our past conversation... What can I tell her..

“Hello, Alecs.. Is this you?”

She answered.. “hel..llo.. laine.. tha..nks..”

Then, I’m lost for words… silence.. I heard her breathing.. I cannot take it.. I’m about to cry… but I remembered Jim saying… “…no emotional words..”

I then recite the nursery rhyme.. “hello, hello, hello how are you?”

I heard her trying to laugh, but I knew it’s hard for her, so I said “Alecs pagaling ka ha, magkikita-kita pa tayo ng cousin ko..”

I ended the call. I cannot control my emotions, I burst out crying.

“Laine, she smiled, you really are nice, thank you, and thank you to your cousin too..”

“Ok…”

When Alecs was in the hospital, I got the chance to reckon all things about her. For example, her sleeping schedule. Before I came to know her illness, I noticed that she used to sleep late at night, and then woke up at 10:00 in the morning. She told me she have an insomnia.

But according to Jim, Alecs is taking sleeping pills.

I understand now why at 12 midnight she will tell me “time to say goodnight na”, then in the morning, 10 a.m. or past, she will greet me “Good morning”.

I decided to call teacher Len, my Christian friend and Co-teacher at Unang Lingap Kapwa Foundation, I told her about Alecs, and how nice it is being friends with someone I never seen. As I am about to cry, I told her about Alecs’ condition. Teacher Len told me that the real purpose between instant connections with Alecs. She told me, it is because Alecs really needed a friend, and I was there almost willing to be one. Then we prayed.

I realized that I never really knew Alecs… Although we are friends, there are things I still don’t know about her. Her childhood.. her family… All I knew is about the things that happened when we became friends. Her past is unclear.

I waited for Alecs to text me again, I have prepared so many questions in mind, but this time, I know I won’t get mad, nor get angry with her for not telling the truth.

June 24, 2001. Sunday.

It’s Sunday. My cousin asked me to accompany him to the mall. So I went out with him, then suddenly my cell phone beeps. Excited, hoping it would be Alecs..

The message was, “Thank you , I love you and your cousin thank you so much, why I’m saying this? To let you feel and know because if I go ahead of you guys, at least I’ve spent the rest of my life thinking of you.” (24 June 2001, 10:29:22)

I was so happy. It’s Alecs again.

I replied her with, “kaw ha.. I’m glad you’re okay now.. you have so much to tell me…”

“Hehehe… Jim told me, kinulit mo raw sya.. di pa ba nya nakwento lahat?”

“Sabi nya kaw daw magkkwento… are you still at the hospital? Can we visit you?”
“Nah, I am still not in good shape…, saka na hehe, I am ok now, and you two need not to worry anymore.. tetext na tayo uli hehe”

“Hey Alecs, if the doctor told you bawal magtext, wag muna ok? I am more concerned with your health, it is ok for me if di muna magtext”

“No Laine, text tayo.. I think you need to know what is really happening to me..”

Honestly, I really don’t know what I’m going to tell Alecs. Thinking, what can I do for her? I am just an ordinary person who was confided in the school, where I only do teaching small kids. It is as if I am bounded to a situation that will test how far I can go with the friendship I have with Alecs.

If this is really a test of friendship, I will then make every day counts.

I want her to feel that, just like her family and friends, I will always be around and always be there for her. I want her to feel that she was never wrong in making “kulit” just to be friends with me, and that she was never wrong in choosing me to be one of her friends.

“Alecs I think you owe me an explanation, hehehe”

“Yes Ma’am, just ask, I’ll answer you, hehehe, baka may makalimutan na naman ako, mapagalitan pa ko”

After Alec’s hospitalization, we reached a new level of friendship. Our texts dealt with different topics. Our texting has reached a new level of intensity to a point that every second, every minute, every hour we exchanged text messages, as if we’re setting on a couch over a bunch of “tsitserias”. Talking, laughing, and sometimes crying.

I came to know more of Alecs. I learned that she was an orphan, and her foster parents were already residing in Canada. She met her biological parents, where at first, she was mad, but found the way to forgive them.

I asked Alecs about her condition.

“I got sick every now and then. Sabi migraine but why do I have to have blood transfusion, kasi daw super baba red cells ko kahit ayaw sabihin I have my own suspicion, this is my body and I know.” (28 June 2001, 23:35:20)

“Well, everybody will go, it’s a matter of who go first di ba? ganun lang yun” (28 June 2001, 23:24:29)

“I know when I go, I still have life… an eternal life… (28 June 2001, 23;18:10)

“Kaya andito si mama gusto nya kasama na ako pag-uwi sa Canada. Siguro sama na ako kasi I felt that kelangan ko sya, ayaw na umalis na hindi ako kasama. Galit kuya” (28 June 2001, 23:50:34)

“I will be 28 on November 18, Sam made dalaw when I was in the Hospital. Di ako makausap, I was all the time asleep, pero he left a card and flowers. He wrote, “Get well coz I love you so much” (28 June 2001, 23:56:43)

“Yes, maybe ayaw akong iwan ni mama and I still don’t go out, I feel so weak pa… Tawag ng tawag kuya ko, sya yung kausap ko kanina. Ready na waiver ko for treatment, kasama Candy” (29 June 2001, 00:02:26)

“All we can do now is to pray for their safety because GOD’s mysteries are no mistakes, remember strange are the ways of GOD, all this things are bound to happen for so many reasons” (28 June 2001, 14:01:42)

“Yup, because GOD has a perfect time for everything in HIS most humble time. Di ba?” (28 June 2001, 14:19:20)

“I know deep within, you have a very strong FAITH, and that satisfies our LORD. It’s a deeper healing and joy, peace and lively hope of heaven” (28 June 2001, 14:48:02)

I also remember Alecs telling me her stories of love, and falling out of it. For me, love is the best topic we ever had.

“In love stories, there are two stand out moments to remember… the good and the bad.. the beginning and the end… good evening… let’s talk about romantic love, ayos ba?” (28 June 2001, 21:11:12)

“No, let’s share, I want to learn from you, tell Christian to share with us is he’s around” (28 June 2001, 21:33:47)

“Ganun ba? Anyway, we both know that love in general sense is the feeling we have for what we value most. Ang gusto ko romantic love” (28 June 2001, 21:49:28)

“Romantic love? A particular kind of love involves passionate attachment like you and your boyfriend, dib a ganun yun? Like me and Jay noon.” (28 June 2001, 22:17:42)

“Love is a natural feeling, you don’t have to learn about, but love sometimes grow.. sometimes I dies. It’s a good adventure of life… with Jay, I was happy and that’s enough for me. (28 June 2001, 22:40:53)

“With Jay, with the painful circumstances, I still appreciate the profound joy we had thank him for loving me, and from him, I’ve learned to forgive” (28 June 2001, 22:50:42)

You’re right, paminsan-minsan naisip ko sya but accept ko na and I don’t wish to have another one, pag nakikita ko mga gifts nya sakin, I won’t believe he’s gone. We had great time together” (24 June 2001. 23:53:33)

“Yes, I told you di ba? Kasi gwapo sya and I just don’t know bakit ganito puso ko” (28 June 2001,23:21:48)

“Yes, I think it’s true love.. See, I’m a very sincere person, I did not only love then, I was in love with them.. Do you see the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone? Tell me. (25 June 2001, 00:13:52)

“San sila nagpunta? Know what may nanligaw sakin taga-Antipolo, he owns an antique shop, he looks like Gary V.” (29 June 2001, 12:13:11)

“Naligo ako, talking about my suitor in Antipolo, He’s Ryan, basta nawala na lang ng mabasted sakin, we met in Matabungkay Beach, attracted sakin kasi I was in swimsuit” (29 June 2001, 13:27:33)

“Lam mo kasi kahit gwapo guy pag la nuts di papasa sakin and talking about color swimsuit, fav ko black” (29 June 2001, 13:51:55)

“Ganun ka? Ako hindi, kung paano ako kadaldal sa text sa way in person, and you know what, Jay and Sam, patay sila sa pagtawa ko, di d aw ako makalimutan sa tawa ko, nakakabingi daw (29 June 2001, 14:10:27)

“Laine text kita mamaya ha, may visitors ako, akala nasa hospital pa ako, di ako inabutan dun, galling sila US, Florida, relatives ni Jay… bye muna” (29 June 2001, 14:33:57)

“Oo, andito pa sila, Mama prepared dinner for them, know what, andito si Samantha, yung cousin ni Jay na nakatira sa Q.C., pinabigay ni Jay yung number nya, sya yung kasama naming ni Jay pag lalabas” (29 June 2001, 19:18:47)

“Ok, oo saya ko ngayon, feel ko love nila sakin” (29 June 2001, 19:38:45)

JULY 2001

We also talked about Sam, he was the one who gave Alecs new meaning of love..

“Hi, you just gave me a missed call, what took you busy today?” (1 July 2001, 16:02:04)

“It’s Sunday, walang ginagawa si Sam, kaya eto, we’re texting as if it’s the end of the world. Ayaw huminto, maarte,and kulit din, forward ko sayo gusto mo?” (1 July 2001, 16:17:28)

“I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU! (From Sam)” (1 July 2001, 16:19:46)

“I KNOW WHEN I MARRY YOU, I’LL TAKE CAE OF YOU AND YOU’LL GET WELL AND WE’LL HAVE A HALF DOZEN CHILDREN” (1 July 2001, 16:23:16)

“Di ba, I told you parang nadedevelop na ko but I feel it’s not time, because I’m very sick, baka out of pity lang feeling nya sakin..” (1 July 2001, 16:31;11)

“Awa ako sa kanya, baka I’ll be burden, instead na Masaya… tell me can I still have a baby?” (1 July 2001, 16:41:56)

‘If ever, I’ll be producing another one like me, I already discussed that with Sam, sagot nya “You’ll have your baby healthier than you expected”, he’s so comforting, kita mo naman, d p kami mag-on..” (1 July 2001, 17:02:53)

“Thanks.. but this is my body and I know what I feel pero pangarap ko rin sana madugungan pa buhay ko, pero sabi ko kay LORD, your will shall be done, kung ano plan nya for me..” (1 July 2001, 17:18:41)

“Miracles.. laman ng puso ko at kaisipan.. even in my dreams, and I always place GOD in the center of all this, sana magdilang-anghel ka..” (1 July 2001, 17:21:06)

“You make me cry Laine.. You’re all very supportive.” (1 July 2001, 17:32:11)

(This is the message meant for Sam, that Alecs sent accidentally to me)”I think we should discuss this in person, alam ko you know what I feel for you, that’s the very reason why I can’t accept your offer.. You are special to me..” (1 July 2001, 17:27:23)

“Katext ko ngayon ikaw at sya, baka nabaliktad message ko sayo andun sa kanya? Buking tayo” (1 July 2001, 17:36:25)

‘Pano kung mamatay ako, di kawawa sya..” (1 July 2001, 17:59:29)

“Matanda na sya, 32, marrying age na talaga, pihikan daw sbi ni Mommy Yolly (Sam’s mom) kaya tumanda” (1 July 2001, 17:56:06)

“Alam mo ang gusto ko lang yung best of friends lang kami, tulad ng dati. Hindi ko pa tell sayo ng magkita kami ano? Nakakatawa talaga, everytime maisipan (maalala) namin, tawa kaming dalawa” (1 July 2001, 18:24:57)

“Sige magkita tayo sa Church, 3pm, ganun ang ginawa ko. Kasama ko si Jim, Candy at Kaye, pati katulong nila Jim. Maroon car ko, sabi ko ako white. Front ko si Kaye…” (1 July 2001, 19:01:54)

“Sam keeps on calling, “Where are you?”Ang nasa Church si Kaye, ako hind bumaba sa car, hindi rin pala bumaba si Sam, wise. 4pm na, napagod si Kaye, labas sya, bumalik sa car, pagsakay nya, call si Sam, and sabi-“ (1 July 2001, 19:06:45)

“Alecs, I’m right behind your car”, Paglingon ko blue GLI, lumabas sya, wow gwapo. Tulak ko si Kaye, akbay agad si Sam. Sabi ni Sam, “You’re Alecs?” Yeah, sagot ni Kaye. Then, yaya sa snacks.” (1 July 2001, 19:11:50)

“In the restaurant, nakakainis si Kaye, hindi makapagsalita, taka si Sam. Nagdoubt sya, call nya phone ko, walang ring kasi pinatay ko, “Wow naman, where is Alecs? Wala sagot?” ang ginawa, go sa car” (1 July 2001, 19:15:43)

“Pagbalik tinawag name ko lakas, “Alecs!” napalingon ako tapos tumawa sya, napatawa na ako, yung laugh ko pala ang gustong marinig, dun na me buking hehehe” (1 July 2001, 19:20:11)

“Tanong ko pano nya detect, voice daw at sa pagtawa kasi dw naiiba tawa ko” (1 July 2001, 19:22:37)

And of course, we talked about friendship…

“When I think of material thing, I wish I had the best of everything.. but when I think of friends, I never wish I had a better friend, FOR ME YOU ARE THE BEST!” (28 June 2001, 14:50:59)

"There are richness in the range of pure friendship, we are the one, kahit textfriend lang at least we are sharing some of our values. Hope you don’t get tired of me.” (28 June 2001, 15:05:45)

“Go shopping and then later Starbucks in the evening, don’t mind the rain, go with nature with ease, la tayong magawa dyan. Bring your umbrella and kapote.. hehehe” (29 June 2001, 11:50:04)

“The love of God is like a sudden rain that pours out when you least expect it, when this happen, don’t put up an umbrella, but allow yourself to be drenched! GUD PM!” (29 June 2001, 19:20:04)

“Are you sure you’re wearing “fink”, buti di ka tinamaan ng kidlat.. take care (29 June 2001, 21:07:35)

“Kasi kinontra kita kaya di ka suot.. buti pa fuschia.. hehehe di ba sexy tayo in black? JOKE LANG NAMAN KITA EH.. hehehe..” (29 June 2001, 19:40:05)

“Believe me, may fuschia ako, blouse and Capri pants with matching sandal, I just don’t know when and where I’ll wear it, basta, I just find it sexy and daring kaya binili ko” (29 June 2001, 21:51:57)

“Tutulog? I think you’re sleepy na, anyway, you just made my day again, thank you so much for keeping me company, I owe an enormous debt of gratitude..” (29 June 2001, 22:48:37)

“Bright red or soft pastel is good, right? But black could be very striking, but wedding is a cheerful occasion.. Ay naku magkapote na lang ako ng pink hehehe” (29 June 23;14)

“Lam ko na kung bakit ka inis… you’re laughing alone, parang sira hehehe” (29 June 2001, 23:33:46)

“Look at us, we enjoy each other thru text, I wonder if people will still be walking on earth by 2050, baka lahat pindot na.. What do you think?” (29 June 2001, 23:26:16)

“Yes, sabi ni mama galing mo raw at sabi nya pinupuyat kita. Sige goodnight na lang” (29 June 2001, 00:18:33)

"GOODNIGHT AND GOD BLESS YOU FROM MAMA CELIA” (29 June 2001, 00:26:05)

July (2nd Week)

Alecs is getting better, things seem to be normal again.

One day, Sam took Alecs for an errand.

“Hey Laine yaya si Sam lumabas, we’ll go to Megamall, wanna join us?”

I really wanted to go, but I am shy. I am not ready to see and meet them. But I really really wanted to go…

“Ei Alecs, I am not sure… dami ko pa gawa…”

Without my knowledge, Alecs also texted my cousin about it, who also just kept silent. (I did not tell her about Alecs’ text.)

Then suddenly, my cousin told me, “Oi samahan mo ko sa Cubao”

“What gawin dun?”

"Wala lang, mamamasyal. "

I wasn’t shy to tell him that Alecs is going to Megamall, I was shy telling him that I want to meet Alecs at the Megamall…

“Tara.”
We got ourselves ready. As we were on the FX taxi, he said, “Papunta raw sina Alecs sa Megamall”

“Ah talaga?”

“Gusto mo puntahan natin?”

“Sure ka?”

“Oo naman, mukhang tao naman tayo ah?”

I smiled, and then I hesitantly said “Sige”

"Itext mo na, sabihin mo papunta tayo”

“Maya na lang pag dun na tayo hehe”

When we reached Cubao, we took the MRT train going to Megamall.

I texted Alecs, “Hey Alecs we’re in Megamall, san kayo”

“Oh really? Please wait for us, ditto pa kami Muñoz, have to buy something, please wait for us!”

I replied, “Tagal pa kayo?”

“We’re on our way na, wag kayo alis dyan”

“Ok”

My cousin asked, “San na daw sila?”

“Papunta na raw”

Just like me, my cousin is naturally shy, he sometimes “mayabang” but for the “real” people, he is shy.

He changed his mind then, “Uwi na lang tayo, parang nakakahiya. Baka magmukhang kawawa tayo”

"Ha? Why naman? Di naman yata ganun si Alecs”

"Hindi mo ba pansin? Parang mayaman sila! Baka lait-laitin lang tayo ano ka ba?”

“Oi di naman ganun si Alecs”

“Ok sige, ikaw na lang makipagkita, alis na ako”

“Hoy! Ano ka ba? Sige na wait na natin..”

“Nahiya na ako, ikaw na lang”
We’re here at Corinthians Garden, ma-traffic, lapit na”

“Alecs, nahiya na si Christian, alis na raw kami…”
“No No! wait for us there”

As we were on the train, I received a call from Alecs… Asking us to come back and meet them..
“Laine comeback please…”

“Alecs Cubao station na kami…”

I was teary-eyed. I really wanted to see her and Sam.

Alecs being naturally kind, she never got angry and the whole time Alecs and Sam was in Megamall, we were texting.

She comforted me with:

“It’s ok Laine, don’t worry, it’s my fault, biglaan kasi. Wag ka na magalit sa cousin mo hehe”
“Maybe it’s not the right time to meet you and your cousin. Next time, let’s plan, ok?

But in the evening of that day, she told me “Sayang naman di pa tayo nagkita-kita”

I answered “Kala ko ba ok na yun… huhu”

“Hehehe joke lang”

Alecs has kept me posted about everything. One night she told me that she will undergo her chemotherapy the next day, she asked me why should she undergo that kind of treatment which according to her, chemotherapy is so painful and she will need to feel worse at first then will get better after. I told her she should follow what the doctor is telling her, and that it is for her own good.

Every treatment, I let Alecs rest for a while. Even if she is texting, I will reply her with “You just rest, ok? You need that so you’ll get better. I won’t reply na”

But Alecs do not let the day pass without any talk, out of noting, she texted me with,

“Let’s talk about intimacy this time, ok lang sayo?” (11 July 2001, 21:45:01)

“But of course, yes you are right, but intimacy is not a fixed quality in a relationship, it depends on circumstances in the people involved, like between a married couple or a married man to unmarried woman” (11 July 2001, 22:48:04)

“With all the loneliness I’ve had that sprung from the past, Sam was the answer, he had changed my cloudy world. Hope it will last” (11 July 2001, 23:28:37)

“Laine nasend ko na naman kay Sam yung message ko for you, mahabang usapan to, wait lang he’ll call daw” (11 July 2001, 23:32:14)

July 12, 2001

“Hello gudam too, sorry kagabi, napahaba usapan namin ni Sam. Di na kita nasagot at antok na antok na me. You’re right again, bright ka talaga, married couple involves sex, while girlfriend-boyfriend is always- (12 July 2001, 10:30:03)

“Girlfriend-Boyfriend always has only eyes for each other, hand in hand or arm in arm without the need of having sex. They intimately view themselves as we need each other, with more fun and freedom, with a- (12 July 2001, 10:35:00)

“With a sense of belonging in mutual respect not to overdo things.” (12 July 2001, 10:40:00)

“O ayan ha andar na ko kaagad baka kasi antukin ako uli” (12 July 2001, 10:43:43)

July 13, 2001

“Hey Alecs, how are you today?”
“I guess I’m ok but still not in good shape”
“Soon babalik na uli beauty mo, don’t worry."

“Hehehe ok talaga fighting spirit mo”

“Aba dapat ganun noh. Anyway Alecs tomorrow is Saturday, as usual may work sa Foundation, then later in the afternoon darating sina Mama and Tita ko from the province. Mag-beach kami sa Infanta, Quezon, walang signal dun, so si Sam muna katext mo Saturday evening up to Sunday afternoon”

“Ok, take care”

“Tomorrow pa yun!”

“Hi nakatulog me, sorry. Thanks for the kind gesture you are showing me,, that’s the reason why our friendship is one of a kind..” (13 July 2001, 15:41:30)

“Now we have unveiled the secret of having a great friendship, the biting reality is, we are both friendly in the most sensible way.. When I’m gone don’t feel sad.. please be happy because of one reason.. (13 July 2001, 15:47:52)

“GOD LOVES US” (13 July 2001 15:48:01)

“Alecs ano ka ba, wag kang ganyan”

“Lagi kita kasi naiiwan, di ko sinasadya. I just fall asleep. I feel bad kasi” (13 July 2001, 15:55:54)

“Lagi kasi ako hilo, kaya lagi gusto higa, la gana kain” (13 July 2001, 16:02:30)

“If ever magtext sayo si Sam, don’t tell him about it, ok?” (13 July 2001, 16:05:43)

“Alecs you need to eat, dapat malakas body mo for the next treatment… kain ka please… Wag ka ganyan, paalis pa naman ako tomorrow, ayoko sana sumama but I’m afraid, Mama will get mad” “You should go, it’s a family affair, you enjoy ok? Don’t worry, kain ako later”

“Sure?” “Yeah”

“It may be a simple sharing of laughters that we have, bit like an onion when we talk, a little deeper, we share opinions, reveal a bit more about ourselves.. “ (13 July 2001, 20:03:27)

This time I asked Alecs about her book which Jum had told me..

“He told you about it? Ok, pag tapos na and if ever di ko matapos, yours is the floor to conclude, I know perfectly well you know the ending”

“I have prepared a computerized pic of mine and I asked Jim to send it to you, still preparing pa 1 whole coupon size yun with my signature, last page of my book yun”

July 14, 2001

It’s Saturday, my work at Unang Lingap starts at 8:30 and ends at 12 noon.

After work, I texted Alecs, “Hey pauwi na ko Antipolo, then byahe na kami Infanta.. you eat well ok? Wag papalipas ng gutom or magtatampo ako”

“Yeah, I will. Enjoy.”

On our way to Infanta, Alecs and I are still texting, the usual imaginary scene of “sitting on a couch”, until I lost my signal.

On the beach, I kept on thinking about what Alecs have told me last Friday night.. It really bothered me but nothing I could do; I couldn’t send text: I couldn’t call… I just hope nothing bad will happen to her.

July 15, 2001

I was so excited to go home. I immediately packed our things then hurried to the car, “Oi bilisan na natin baka gabihin tayo!” At the back of my mind, it says “Bilisan na natin, para may signal na ko!”

Along the way, I kept on checking for signal.

And the minute I got my signal, I received a text from Alecs, it says, “I am not wealthy but I have a rich heart. I am not the best but I can do better. I may not be right in everything. But I am sure I wasn’t wrong in choosing you to be my FRIEND!”

“Hello Alecs, We’re on our way home, how are you? Thanks for the nice message.”

“I’m ok, kanina ko pa wait na magtext k. I missed you last night, parang not complete, though Sam and I are texting”

“Hehe don’t worry tetext na tayo uli”

Being overwhelmed with what Alecs said to me, I text her with, “Thanks”

She asked, “for what?”

I answered, “For so many reasons, basta thank you, you’re one true friend I won’t forget..”
She replied, “You’re one true friend who made the whole thing bearable for me.. I am living my life now in daily base..

I told her, “Touch naman ako…but I missed you too, walang ingay cp ko huhu”

I don’t know why the conversation was like that. For that day, we talked about our friendship, about how grateful I am for having her as my friend.

I told her, “Sisi ako tuloy why di tayo nagkita, but still I’m hoping and wishing one day, magkita tayo para bonding to the max tayo hehehe”

“Me too, but I think it’s better this way for so many reasons. So far you’re the greatest, the rest took me for granted, they thought I’m not for real.. I really am, and I do exist..”

I said to her, “Alecs you are so nice, Sam found something in you that he didn’t find to any other ordinary and normal girl. Sam is so much ready to give you his love without that second thought na may sakit ka or what. Don’t deprive yourself of something na sasaya ka, let’s all be happy because we are still alive. Go out in your space and give Sam a chance…”

“I am deeply touched with what you said.. for a moment I realized what his really doing to make me happy and hiya lang naman kasi ako dati ganda ng poise ko talaga sa first meeting namin… “ (15 July 20001, 15:01:36)

July 16, 2001

Since Mama arrived I couldn’t give much time for texting. I went early to bed because I have Mama beside me; I don’t want to awaken her because I know she was tired.

I got much time texting with Alecs because I am all alone at home, although Christian is here, he is in his room all the time. Now that, I have my relatives staying at home, I couldn’t do much but talk and have fun with them.

I know Alecs understand that. But I know, she is not feeling well lately…

“Hello Alecs, good morning, I hope SAMone is making you happy today hehehe”

“Natawa Sam, damay sa early am hagikhik mo. Join them cooking, burong bb Pampanga delicacies”

“Hey, nagpapractice n si Sam, wow naman, eh dapat pakasal n kayo talaga hehehe gusto ko na mag-abay!”

“HA H AHA! Baliw ka talaga

As much as I wanted to stay at home and just do texting, I can’t. I went with Mama and my aunt to the mall, then in the afternoon, they stayed in Taguig, and then planned to go to Tagaytay the next day..

It was late afternoon when Alecs requested me to call. She said somebody will talk to me. So I called, then I talked to someone named “Brian”, he has a foreign tongue, he said Alecs is blabbing so much about me, and wished I was there having dinner with them.

And then she gave back the cp to Alecs, “Hey, he’s Brian he wanted to meet you, they invited me for a dinner, I wish you were here eh hindi pwede, kaya call na lang”

“Hehehe, kaw talaga, anyway gwapo ba sya hehehe”

“Hehehe”

I let Alecs enjoy her time with Sam and the others.

I admire Sam for being so lovable and caring. He never let Alecs alone. He was there all the time, so willing to attend to Alecs’ need.

That night I say good night early because I was so tired for the day. I told Alecs that we are going to Tagaytay after school.

July 17, 2001

Today, I received an early message from Alecs.

I##()”””()()”””()##
I##( ‘:’)(‘:’ )##
I##(* (,,) )##
I##c,,,c,,,c,,,c,,J##
No matter what happen
we will always be like this,
you and me Bestfriend’s forever!

“Ei wala pa 10 ah? Hehehe, aga mo yata gumising?”

“I don’t know, I’m really not feeling well…”

“After school, punta na ko house ng Aunt ko then byahe na kami”

I receive no reply; I just thought she was still sleepy.

After work, I got myself ready, as I am about to leave the house, I receive a text, “Where are you na?”

“I’m going to my Aunt’s house na..nakatulog ka uli noh? That’s good”

“I feel sleepy all the time”

“Hey, dito na ko FX, I’ll text you again later, for the mean time, sleep ka muna ulit, baka napagod ka yesterday”

“Yeah, baka nga..Take care”

The moment I arrived at my Aunt’s house and during our travel to Tagaytay, Alecs was not replying. We are at People’s Park in the Sky when I received a text, but it was Jim, telling me that Alecs is sleeping, he decided to reply, for me not to worry.

The whole time we are in Tagaytay, Alecs is not texting. When I arrived home, there’s still no text. I was kind of worried. It’s past 7:0 in the evening when I decided to call Alecs thru our landline phone. A kid answered the call…

I don’t want to believe what he said… he’s kidding me maybe… I called again, but no one answered…

July 19, 2001

It was confirmed, Alecs passed away on July 17, 2001.

“Sorry, hindi kita natext, nagbusy kami, wala na si Alecs, namayapa na at dinala na ng mama nya and abo nya… Flight kanina 9:45 a.m., kasama si Sam...”

“Totoo, alam mo yung marami kang text? Nadaan ako, sinagot kita, ang sabi ko tulog, tapos umalis na me, hindi ko disturb, akala ko tulog. Gabi na ng ginising para kumain… wala na raw..”

“Lagi nyang sinasabi wag kaming malungkot, pagmamamahal ng Diyos ang lahat ng ito, pag-alis ko walang iiyak, pero hindi naming maiwasan.. Naakahirap pala na mawalan ng isang taong mapagmahal at maunawain...”

I cried... a lot..

...there may be reasons for everything...